In response to Mrs. Capps’ embarrassingly baffling “viewpoint” regarding her most recent stultifying (“Santa Barbara Independent”, “Ventura County Star”, and now the San Luis Obispo “Tribune”) articles entitled: “Offshore Drilling is No Energy Fix” (aka “Why I Oppose New Oil Drilling” – Saturday 9-17; 18th and 20th respectfully.

What would cause a small-town mayor to refuse to meet with his citizens? Oddly (and ironically) enough the answer is: diplomacy. Clear, calm-headed diplomacy. I don't know about you, but something is very wrong here...

A few friends and I decided to petition Mayor Romero to sign a resolution aiming at avoiding another preemptive war (this time with Iran) by using diplomacy, rather than, you know, nukes. My friend called his office, left a couple voicemails, and never got a return call. So I went down to the office this morning and set up a "tentative" meeting for the day after tomorrow via a nice lady there (it was 9am, but the Mayor doesn't come in until 10 and he may have a conflict). She said I'd get a call to confirm.

Life will change abruptly at midnight November 4th. Some self possessed deep throat on CNN or Messy NBC will declare that "The Obama" has either won the presidency or that "The Obama" numbers were so compelling that Mr. McCain, avoiding the word "President," must invite "The Obama" to form a Co-Consulship.

"The Obama" will nod majestically and graciously decline, indicating that he prefers to await the U.N's naming of the Bi-Continental Emperor. His performance in the final U.S. election under the United States Constitution of 1789 positions him strategically to overcome the only viable candidate, Venezuela's Hugo Chavez.