Grudge Match: Danny vs. Pat - Attack ads
With the most important election since the last one less than a week away and both presidential campaigns attacking each other with negative advertising, we figured, “hey, if it’s good enough for them, it’s good enough for us”. We have the tools (if not the expertise) to create our own negative ads, and hate each other more than enough to find plenty of dirt to dig up.
Insulting Pat is one of my favourite things to do, and what better way to do it than to launch my very own negative campaign ad against him. I mean, he’s an easy target right?
Besides, if this works out, maybe next time around we’ll be able to sell some online ads to the political campaigns.
Well, first of all, I steadfastly deny that I am a terrorist – secret or otherwise.
Danny, on the other hand – well, let’s talk about Danny. First of all, he’s Scottish, which one can argue is a good thing because it precludes him from ever running for president. But it also means that, uh, you know . . .
Shoot. Forgot what I was saying there. Something about haggis.
Or his associations with Craig Ferguson.
Either way, don’t vote for Danny. Here’s why:
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Smear campaigns will get you nowhere - I choose to do a write in vote:
COSTANZA! (I think you know who I mean)
Now there's a guy who will quietly come in and get the job done. Even though I don't know what job it is we're looking at, I'm sure he's the guy.
Now Danny, give Jay back his sandwich - that's just mean!
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Pat,
You've got to close with something comforting and positive about yourself or a last mud ball at the other side.
"Pat Pemberton, when he talks you actually understand him."
"Keep your sandwich, vote Pemberton"
"Pat puts you first, not zombies."
"Danny, wrong on sandwiches, wrong on zombies."I'm not sure either of you wants to put on your resume, voted most likely to turn out like Karl Rove.
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You may think attack ads are perfectly fine but there's something you should know.
*cue scary music, over dramatic announcer and scary backdrop*Attack ads support domestic terrorism.
Attack ads, threaten our way of life, spread LIES and PROPAGANDA, and are pure 100% EVIL.
And guess who supports attack ads: ADOLF HITLER and OSAMA BIN LADEN.
This mean that anyone who supports attack ads is a Nazi and a terrorist.
Danny not only had a much better attack ad than Pat but managed to insult all the people who eat babies.
Are we going to let this kind of partisan bickering stand in the once noble grudge matches?
And what does Danny have against this viable means of population control and food production? A baby costs a lot of money and we're in a faltering economy but Danny prefers to take a radical pro-life agenda that could cost America even more money.
So clearly Danny is an evil, socialist, Nazi, terrorist, who smells bad.
So vote for Pat instead of the terrorist, I know I didn't.
Paid for by the Jonathan Swift coalition of people who like to eat babies.
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I don't think Danny is really Scottish!!
Looking at the video you can see that he doesn't paint his face blue, he doesn't wear a kilt and he certainly doesn't sound like Mel Gibson!! I bet he doesn't even know grounds keeper Willie personally!!
He is just another gerontophobic, mother hating, pedantic, sandwich stealing, elitist, smelly computer geek!!
At least he likes babies.... and he can spell colour....and he likes haggis!
Good grudge match!
j2morrow said,
Fri, 10/31/2008 - 10:54am -
I vote for Pat.
Danny is my brother - yes, I endured 15 years of tedious and childish torture from this idiot before he finally flew the nest and 'grew up'.
2 bits of advice Pat...
1. if you ignore him long enough, eventually he gets bored and gives up.
2. He may only weigh what? 100lbs, but he's a black belt in karate - so watch your butt.
love you bro, but I'm with Pat on this one - even if he did decide to mock our nationality!
ps. Danny that accent is hilarious, what is it supposed to be? :) Very funny stuff guys! "pronouncing herb with an 'h'-priceless!!