Danny

This week, in an effort to change things up a little, we’re pitting two coastal tourist towns against each other rather than individuals.  I think because Pat has failed so miserably at arguing for just one person/thing, maybe he feels that he can get the community behind him by broadening his scope.

Not likely.

So, Pismo vs. Morro Bay.  Yet another Grudge Match being handed to me on a silver platter.  Let’s examine the facts here:

1. Pismo (usually) has the better weather.  I don’t think I’ve ever visited Morro Bay when it wasn’t foggy, grey and miserable.  You’d think that’d make me feel at home, being Scottish, but no, it just reminds me how miserable it is going to the beach back home.
2. Pismo has a pier.  Morro Bay has no pier (OK, it has two, but they are lame, so I’m not counting them).  Why does Morro Bay have no pier?  Because it’s not as cool as Pismo.  Morro Bay has a big rock.  Who cares?
3. Bugs Bunny loves Pismo.  He never mentions Morro Bay, because Morro Bay is grey, dull and boring.
4. Pismo Beach is a stone’s throw away from the Oceano dunes, which is awesome if you want to drive around offroad.  Morro Bay is a stones throw away from Los Osos, which is awesome if you want to be bored to death by people talking about sewers.
5. Pismo Beach has the most entertaining city council ever.  You never see council members throwing tantrums and hurling their notes at other council members in Morro Bay.  Neither do you have council members turning up to city events (allegedly) drunk and screaming incoherently into a microphone.
6. Morro Bay’s only real shopping is done at the Embarcadero which is filled with overpriced junk that I don’t want.  Pismo has the Pismo Beach Outlets, which is filled with underpriced junk that I don’t want.  I don’t know about you, but I prefer the junk I don’t want to be underpriced.  Pismo wins.
7. Arnold Schwarzenegger hates Montaña De Oro, and by extension, Morro Bay.  It’s only a matter of time before he turns up with a rocket launcher and razes the whole town to the ground.

Sure, there are other issues to discuss, but I figure I’ll leave them up to everyone else to discuss.  There’s really no argument to be had here.  Pat, you lose.  Again.

ppemberton

Well, it’s good to see that Danny sees fit to cite Bugs Bunny in support of his arguments these days.

Maybe next week he’ll quote Chilly Willy or some other brilliant mind.

But with all due respect to Bugs Bunny, Pismo SUCKS!!!

Just kidding. I actually like Pismo. I mean, really. Where else can you walk the beach and get attacked by DEADLY BACTERIA?

Okay, so I’m kidding again. The bacteria isn’t necessarily deadly. Just inconvenient -- sort of like the gobs of Valley tourists that invade Pismo like a swarm of locusts every summer so they can spill gasoline all over those dunes Danny likes so much.

Environment? What?

But seriously. I know I sound like a Negative Nelly. And the honest truth is I do like Pismo. It’s a classic beach town. And that clam they dress up at the holidays? What a hoot!

But I also have some real issues with Pismo, namely:

* Valley tourists. A good number of locals avoid Pismo in the summer because it becomes Bakersfield-by-the-Sea. That glut of tourists, of course, makes parking daunting, which leads to:

* Paid parking. I always thought it was cool that the city didn’t resort to charging for parking like so many other coastal cities. But then – whoops. Now they do. Thanks, council! I’ll be sure to NOT go to the pier now. Last time I checked (today), Morro Bay still doesn’t charge people to park at the Rock.

* Pier punks. In the surf, they’re kooks. On land, they’re just annoying.

* Huge houses that normal people will never afford. I think they build their homes on a hill so they can look down on us.

* Pismo is out of place. It tries to be a Southern California city like Huntington Beach, but let’s face it – this is the Central Coast. People here don’t like Southern California.

            Now a few things about Morro Bay:

* The Rock rules. A natural formation, this is the most distinctive feature about the Central Coast.

* Fewer tourists. Yeah, I know. Morro Bay has tourists too. But you can usually get away from them. In Pismo, they get in your hair.

* The Bay Theater. Pismo doesn’t even have a theater, so there’s no competition. But the Bay is cool – sort’ve like a big barn, but with comfy seats.

* The estuary. While Pismo murders birds, Morro Bay embraces them with its wonderful estuary. Okay, there is the hunting thing, but we’ll, uh – next point, please:

* It’s cool in the summer months. That hater Danny likes to say negative things about the fog. But guess what? No air conditioning bills! Think of the energy Morro Bay saves thanks to its marine layer.

I haven’t had a chance to talk to Bugs Bunny about my argument yet. But as soon as some Fresnoite tries to run him down in an ATV, I’m sure he’ll be talking about the virtues of Morro Bay.