I'm (Shirley) retired with Multiple Sclerosis, but it's definitely not the center of my life. I'd much rather talk about auto racing, politics, reading (especially spy stuff, i.e., Ludlum, Clancy, Sanders, and mysteries.

A friend suggested I write something about Multiple Sclerosis. I had thought about it, but generally people don't like to hear about illnesses ~ especially other people's. However, if you're interested in learning about MS, here's a little non-doctor lingo.

I always define MS as being like a car when the cables are corroded. There's nothing wrong with the battery, nothing wrong with the ignition, nothing wrong with the alternator. It's just that the wires are frayed, and the signal from the ignition just doesn't go anywhere, or if it does, it's late and scrambled.

That's MS. In a lot of cases, even the wheelchair-bound aren't sitting there because of weak muscles, it's that the muscles aren't getting the message from the brain to STAND UP, STUPID!!

So, 'weak' is the wrong word, it's 'slowness' (down to plain 'no go').

If anything, I've learned to be assertive with doctors, to not let them dictate to me. To question until I'm satisfied. And then, to go to another source and double check.

The same goes for you, whether you have a disease the magnitude of MS, or you're totally healthy and just going for your annual physical. It's your body. You are not a doctor, but you live with your body every day. You know it better than any doctor and you know what's 'normal' for you. Don't let them intimidate you into thinking otherwise.

And for heavens sake, don't feel stupid for asking questions. You're stupid if you don't. No one has more reason to keep you healthy than you do. It's a doctor's job to make sure you understand what he/she is saying. Sometimes, they just don't think you'll understand, so they talk down to you.

This is a big NO, NO!

One of the main problems with MS is that the symptoms can be invisible. An observer you can't see the numbing fatigue ~~ the spasticity ~~ if I take my medication, you can't see the tremors ~~ the discolored and swollen legs aren't obvious if I wear long clothing. But most of all, you can't see the insecurity, the uncertainty, of my not knowing what my body is going to do next.

One minute I'll be tooling along (albeit at a snail's pace), and the next minute, my leg catches on something invisible, or just doesn't lift, and down I go in a completely ungraceful spill!

It's the lack of control that's so scary!

And the stupid, vain things! I'm 61 years old, 5'7", and I've worn short skirts and 3" spikes all my life. I'm now relegated to flats and a walker. Lord, that sounds petty! But it can do a number on you!

Even after the above, I look around every day and thank the Lord for the disease I have. There's a hell of a lot of inconvenience, fatigue, tremors causing lack of sleep, numbness in places you wouldn't believe, balance problems, vision and hearing fluctuations, sensations like electric shocks, and the ever-present worry about whether it's causing cognitive dysfunction (that's one the doctors can't agree on, but I know it's happening to me!).

But, and here's the funny part ~ I'm one of the lucky ones ~ my husband has quit being quite so much the mother hen, he understands the fatigue, he gets me anywhere we want to go ~ and most of all ~ I don't have much pain. I see people every day ~ much, much worse off than me ~ house-bound, having to take so much medication for pain that they're groggy, and worst of all ~ alone!

On most days if you asked me? I wouldn't trade!